My Beautiful Campus

This last one is dedicated to my heart stone friend, Becky! That's a leaf though. 

What to Do? What to Do?

So my to do list for today....
1. ?
2. ?
3. ?

Now you see. I actually have a lot of things to do today, but I do not even know where to start. Lately, that is how I have been. When I hang out with friends I can not really engage with them the way that I want because all I am thinking of is all the work I have to do. However, when I think about how to go about starting all the work I have to do I can not figure out anything. I can not think of what to write my essays about. I can not think of who to write about. I can't even think of what to eat. I am beginning to wander if I can handle all of this. It does not really matter what I decide though. If I decided that I could not handle it there is nothing I could do about it. I have to go to school. That is what society says, that what my parents say, that is what everyone says. I try not to worry about it so much, but it is hard not to. So, let us think.... my to do list....
1. Paper for English
2. Essays and questions for EMF
3. Still shot analysis for EMF
4. Planning dinners
5. Basement
        1. cleaning it
        2.  Getting paint for it
        3. Painting it
        4. Rearranging it
6. Write!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
7. So much more that I can't even think of right now.

So I guess I should get to doing those things and I will leave you guys with this....
"The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office." -Robert Frost

A Gift From the Unexpected

I go in for my second day on the job of my lab aide at school today. I have to go in early though because there is some Math Lab I have to go to for my Math class. I am really not excited. It is okay though because later today I have "Friends" night with my friends where we all get together and watch "Friends". I am so tired though. I have learned that about being in college so far. That I never really sleep. Whether it is because I am staying up doing work for college, or just staying up worrying about college. Hopefully I will have something good happen at work that I can tell you all about. We will see.

However, yesterday in math class I had something pretty awesome happen. I had not eaten all day and it was approaching seven o'clock at night. A student in my class had brought a full on meal to class and was eating. I mean a full on meal, with shrimp and everything. It smelled delicious. The whole time I was just trying not to focus on it because I was so hungry. I then began to worry about how I was going to eat that night. I was going straight from school to a church event so I was not going to be home in time for dinner at my house. I also did not have any money, so I could not get food on the way home. Then she opened a packet of pop tarts. She was full at this point and only wanted one. So she asked the best question I have ever heard in my life, "Do you want the other pop tart?" I tried to hide my excitement as I answered yes. It seems like nothing, but it was just what I needed to get by. It was one of those times where I just knew God was in the workings. He knew that I need food, and he supplied not too much, and not too little, but just the right amount that I needed to get by.

Catching Up With Me

So since this is my first post I guess I should catch you up on my life. Well, I recently in the past couple months have discovered Church, religion, and most importantly the Lord. As a child I was always envious of those who were raised in church because at least they didn’t have to decide whether or not to join church, or believe. I recently discovered that that is not true, and that in fact even those who were raised in church suffer from the same inner arguments. However, I did come to realization that it is better to come into church as a personal decision then to be forced in. This is because at least you know that it was you who decided to follow the Lord, and not anyone else. This does not mean that I will not raise my future children in church, because I will, this just means to all those out there that think everyone who was raised in church has a one up, be happy for you may in fact have a one up on them.

Also, I have recently joined Towson University. I love it, but it’s not the same as high school and I miss it dearly. To all of those who are still in high school I have a few things to say. One, live your life to the fullest right now. Conquer your high school, and do not back down. Do not become so obsessed in your want to graduate and move on with life that you forget to take advantage of where you are now. You can move on, now! Two, do not be afraid of college. Respect it, but do not fear it. It is nothing to fear. It it great. Three, if you ever dream of something and someone tells you that it is just a dream and can never happen, do not believe them. If at first you do not succeed, try, try again. And again. And again. Do not think that your age stops you. One of my good friend’s favorite verse is, “Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.” You can do anything you set your mind to. Believe it. Speak it. And do not let anyone convince you other wise. 

One of my difficulties that I face right now as far as college is I do not know how to balance my work, school, and church. See the thing is right now I have four classes at Towson. They are awesome, but like any course comes a lot of work. Also, comes a lot of need for money to pay, to learn. Right now I have a volunteer job at my church that I love. It is very important to me because it is right where everything is for me. The Lord, the people I love, my friends. The only thing missing is my family. Also, the job actually teaches me about equipment that I plan to use in my workforce. Everything about the job is great, except that it does not pay. So I took up a job as a lab aide at my school in the EMF program because my dad said it was a great opportunity, and I needed money. However, I recently found out that it too does not pay. It does however give me three extra credits, and is now considered a class, so I do not want to quit. However, I still need a way to get money, but with the two volunteer jobs and school I can not find room for a new job. Some may say that I can drop the job at the church, but I do not want to. And I know that some may say some things in life are not the way we want them to be, but why can't it be? As long as what we want is moral and right, why can’t we go after it? So, some may say, drop the lab aide. However the aide is in my department of major, and I do not want my future professors, or employers to look down on me because I quit. I am at a stand still. All I can think of is to just not continue the lab aide when the next semester starts. However, I need a way to make money, now. So for now I just pray that an easy going job like yard work, or cleaning, or just something comes upon my table, and until that day I do not know what to do.
I also have come to a stand still on all of my writing. I have many films and books that I am currently working with, but I do not know what to write any more. The one film that I have mostly completed, I can not find actors. I am at a very frustrating creative block. So for now that is all I can think of. 

Getting Started

So I don’t even know how to define myself to all of you. I guess I’m a writer, a creator, a film maker. A dreamer, definitely a dreamer. Someone who believes in almost everyone and their potential. A friend. I hope I’m a good friend. An admirer of the show “Friends”, I absolutely love it. I movie goer. A college student. A North Carroll Alumni. A Panther. Always a Panther. Never, not a Panther. Second place, in Varsity Softball States. A christian. A person. 

Why am I here? Well, I’d be lying to you if I said that no one inspired me. Everyone inspires me. My good, childhood friend, Becky inspired me to start writing here. I love writing and always will. Lately it just seems that everything is pointing to writing a blog. I mean all my friends rant on and on about how great Becky’s blog is. My Concept and Story class at Towson encourages me to keep a journal. Everything just seems to say, “Express yourself, in blog form.” So I went to finally check out Becky’s blog, and not even minutes into it I joined blogspot. I must admit, I still haven’t read some of Becky’s writings, only because I guess I’m nervous to see what they’re about, but rest assured, I will. 

So a few of my interests. Well, writing, film making, movie watching, Friends (the show, as well as actual friends), How I Met Your Mother, One Tree Hill, Softball, Dirt Bike Riding, Stand By Me, The Pursuit of Happyness, the Ravens, Lean on Me, guitar, piano, drums, music (playing and listening), CHURCH, speaking… I have so many more.

And as an ending note, I’m excited to get to talk to you guys, and I will try as hard as possible to continue writing.