Our God is Greater

"Our God is Greater" is a song that I think I can say most Christians are aware of. I said it in that way because I often forget that the things I am most familiar with are not always the same things others are most familiar with. For instance, the song, "How He Loves" means a great deal to me. Often I think it means a great deal to everyone, but not everyone has the same experiences I do. The song means so much to me because my youth group's drama team performed an amazing human video to it that saved and changed my life. Anyways, the song, "Our God is Greater" is well known. The song says, "Our God is greater. Our God is stronger. Our God is higher than any other. Our God is healer. Awesome in power, Our God. Our God." I used to sing this with my arms outstretched just praising God, not knowing what this song would soon mean to me. Now the song brings me to tears for it has taken a whole new meaning.

Right now I am not very stable. My life has kind of gone into turmoil, not visibly but internally. I am suffering from things that I cannot even understand or wrap my mind around. This in return has made it very difficult to talk to anyone about it, even more difficult than before. Whenever anyone tries to get me to talk I shut down or try to change the subject even if all they asked was how I was doing. I am fighting an internal battle, and that in itself is making it worse. So I want to encourage those of you out there who are like me to talk to someone! I mean this with complete sincerity! I may not know how to save myself, but for some reason I still can and still know how to save others. That is what is keeping me going. I may no longer know how to pray for myself, but I still know how to pray for others. So I must still have faith. I must still have a reason to be here. I cannot leave and leave behind everyone here who needs my help. There is a God listening. What hurts the most is I know He's calling for me. He wants me to pray for myself, but for some reason I cannot. I can speak the words, but my heart is not within them. But when I pray for others my heart is there. I still believe in others. I still believe in God's ability to move and do amazing things, but in other people's lives. It is not that I do not see Him moving in my own, for I do. I see Him doing many things. I do not understand why, but He does. He is responding to my prayers even if I am not. I just cannot get my heart to go along with my words. So please let me save you! Hear me out! Speak to someone! Do not be like me! For even I know that I am wrong.

I keep dwindling further and further down until I fear that I will not be here. To some of you this may be confusing. Good. I do not want you to understand the exact meaning of that statement, but just understand it generally. The only thing keeping me going now is God. This does not exclude people. In fact I rely on people. God shows up through people. So think twice before you exclude the one who is dwindling. You mean more to them now than ever before. If you desert them it may appear to them that God has deserted them. And believing God has deserted you, even though He never will, can spell trouble, trouble noone could even fathom. All that keeps me going now is fear of Hell and knowledge of God's plans. I know God has plans to prosper me. I know there is light. I know I will conquer this, WITH GOD, if I can just hold on.

So this song has a whole new meaning to me. I am no longer solely praising God, but believing and praying whole-heartedly. My God is GREATER than any evil or circumstance. My God is STRONGER than my will and my thoughts. My God is HIGHER than any other, and will always prevail! My God is HEALER, and He will heal me inside and out! He is awesome in POWER! With Him, and with Him alone, will I make it through. I may have lost myself a little, but if I stop fighting to come back, if I give up completely on God, I am done. In all senses of the word, I am gone. OUR GOD IS GREATER! I believe it! If I did not, I would not be here.



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