An Old Song I wrote a While Back (I thought You Guys Might Enjoy it)

First off I want to apologize that I haven't posted anything in a while. I just haven't found much inspiration lately. I also want to wish you all a very happy new year. I hope you enjoy! :)

A boy walked up to me
The other day
He said I’m sorry
But I have to say

I’m in trouble
Untill the end
And I thought a stranger
Would be a friend
To me

I want to know
Do you have advice
Cause that would be
Especially nice
For me

Well I only have
One thing to say
And this will help you through
Everyday

And I looked at him
And said

Chorus:
Follow your everything
Your heart
Your soul
Your voice
You sing with
Follow your everything
And you’ll be fine
This comes from
The heart of mine

I saw that boy
The other day
Someone walked up to him
To say
I need help
And you look okay
To me

And that boy
Looked up at them
And said
I have only one thing my friend

And that is just
One small word
That will help you through
The pack, the herd,

And he looked at him
And said

Chorus

I saw that person
The next day
Walking around
Whisked away
And stopped by
A very small girl

And she said
I’m sorry to stop you man
But please help me
Yes you can
Cause you seem like a guy
Who’s got it all

Well girl
You are gonna
Be helped
Don’t you send out
A yelp

Cause though
You are really small
My word
Can help you all

And he looked her
And said

Chorus

So their all
Gonna be just fine
They listened to
The word of mine

It came from
The heart of mine
And flowed right through
The grape vine

So when they ask you
For help
Don’t send out
A great big yelp
Just look at them
And say

Chorus x3

Being Like Ruth

"Ruth could see no evil in others' hearts, because she had none in her own." (Mandy Hager)

This is a quote from The Crossing.


I get myself in trouble all the time because I am too oblivious to see the evil ways of those who surround me. Some people see this as a bad thing. I do not. I believe in giving someone the same opportunity to prove themselves, and receive forgiveness as the Lord gives to me.

So I strive to be like Ruth in The Crossing. To not only continue not to believe in the evil ways of others, but to be able to do so because I have no evil ways of my own.

Pizza Delivery Tip
I would suggest that you read the book The Crossing. Unfortunately you may not be able to find it in a library for the book is written by a Kiwi author. So you may have to buy the book off of Amazon. I have not completely finished it yet, but I can all ready tell that it is worth my time.

From my perspective the book is an interesting comment on many things. It's a comment on society and how power can manipulate the ways, once meant to help someone, into ways that harm a whole race of people. It's a comment on how people misinterpret the ways of the bible and create them to be ways of a cult. It's an exciting book that tells the story of a young girl named Miriam who is forced off her island home to move to what she thinks is the holy city of the Lord, but later finds out differently. I think as a Christian you would enjoy this. I think as someone who has no faith or religion, you would enjoy this. I think either way you would enjoy the book.

The Crossing

Sometimes I'm Overwhelmed By Your Beauty

Walking the paths of Towson today my Ipod turned to the song "Let it Go" by Tenth Avenue. I do not know if it was the music or the environment, but it felt almost as if God opened up his beauty right before me. It was overwhelming. I looked up into the skyline where I spotted the Marriott hotel. I saw the red sign that read, "Marriott" against the brown bricks of the building, surrounded by the amazingly blue sky. I almost broke down in tears. I could not understand. How could something so simple break me down like that? Then I looked around at everything that surrounded me, and it all began to shine the same light as the Marriott. Each thing bringing tears to my eyes. I felt like they were all screaming, "Look at my beauty, I was made by the hands of God for you! I represent your creator!"

It is amazing sometimes, the complex simplicity of His beauty. Something as simple as a building can show you just a small glimpse of His beauty. I looked down. My hands, my body, my face, all red with passion. It took every bit of me not to break down and cry.

This all reminds me of the first time I heard my friend speak. We were childhood friends who unfortunately grew separate over the years. A certain irony faces me day by day as I glance over at her house from my backyard. The irony that her house is so close, yet she feels so far away. I say all of this not for sympathy, and certainly not to provoke anger towards her, but to display how distant we have become. I now feel as if she is that sister that moves away, and the only connection is words from a friend or neighbor. So when she spoke I sat on the edge of my seat, wanting to know how she had been.

Then she shared a story of a part of her life when she would walk down the road noticing one minuscule thing after another in aw that it was there because of God. She expressed the same feeling I felt of being brought to tears by such a simple thing. I now understand what she was talking about that day.

It is something so far beyond amazing, God's beauty, but that is the only word I have. It is something we may never fully understand, but it is something anyone can recognize. Even those who do not know Him.




Sometimes I'm overwhelmed by your beauty
Sometimes I fall to my knees
It's amazing, how much it moves me
It's a wonder, like all of the seas


Sometimes I'm overwhelmed by your beauty
Sometimes I fall to my knees
It's amazing, how much it moves me
It's a wonder, like all of the seas


Sometimes I walk
Sometimes I run
To the alter
Trying to make sense


But now I know
When it comes to you
There's no ways
of making sense


That's only part of humans 


(oh)


Sometimes I'm overwhelmed by your beauty
Sometimes I fall to my knees
It's amazing, how much it moves me
It's a wonder, like all of the seas


Every brick you lay
Every noise you make
Every time you stay
Every breath I take


Every time I hear
Your music in my ears
Every time I feel
You asking me to kneel


I fall to my knees


Sometimes I'm overwhelmed by your beauty
Sometimes I fall to my knees 
It's amazing, how much it moves me
It's a wonder, like all of the seas




Pizza Delivery Tip of the Day
Go out of your way sometime to walk around somewhere. City or nature, you get the same result. Take nothing with you except may be an Ipod. look around and take everything in. See God's beauty It is hard not to see it.

If you do not believe in God I strongly suggest that you try to do the same, but instead of seeing it as God's beauty just see it as the world's beauty.

However, I strongly encourage that you open your mind to the possibility that it might be God. You never know what you find.

Don't Forget Where You Came From

Today while watching the “The Sing Off” on TV my Dad made a remark that was mocking how I reacted to something on the television. Out of anger I said something that I would usually say to some of my guy friends, when they anger me, about harming them in a way specific to their gender, thinking that it would be funny. Something I now realize I should not even be saying, especially not to my own father. My father corrected me, and though he never laid a hand on me I felt like I was being slapped in the face. It was just one of those moments when something really small kicks you into gear. I could just feel my heart sink.

My father is someone that I look up to, and keep very dear to myself. I hate disappointing him. So it is perfect that he is the one who put me in my place.

This is a message that has a few motives behind it. In the beginning I wanted to try and convince everyone to keep their social life with friends, and how they talk, not the same as how they interact with their parents. Then I realized that that is not at all what I want. I want to try and convince everyone that you should treat your parents well, but you should also treat everyone well. I know it is cheesy. It is what you have heard your entire life. Act as if your parents were there. Honestly though. There is a phrase that if you are always honest there will be less for you to remember. I believe the same goes for when you watch how you act.

Some people are really good at covering for themselves. Some people are really good at keeping how they talk to their friends different from how they talk to their family. However, everyone knows that even the best cannot always keep things from slipping. Even the best of the best with covering their ways have slipped a curse word or two in front of their parents. Your lies and cheats always come around to get you. I say relieve yourself of all those pressures and worries, and just act towards your friends the way you would your family. I am not saying you cannot joke around with your family. I am just saying do not say things to your friends that you would not want your parents to hear.

This also got me thinking about how you should never forget to appreciate those who care for you, especially your parents. In the same way that an artist or actor never forgets the streets they grew up on, you should never forget the one or two people who were always there with you on your lives journey. Just as you should forever be grateful to your creator, the Lord. You should be grateful to the people he placed you on earth with.

All in all respect your parents, and never forget the great aspect of your life that they are. Watch what you say, around both your friends and family. Do not ever forget the place that you came from. It raised you. No matter how difficult or beat down it was it made you into the person you are today. Never forget it. Never forget the person who put you there, God. 

"Jesus Paid Much Too High a Price for Us to Pick and Choose Who Should Come"

As a child growing up, my mother had a gay friend that I was around often. I thought he was really cool, and I still do today. I was raised to accept anyone and everyone for whoever they are whether they are gay, straight, black, white, foreign, anything. I understood that, and agreed with it strongly.

Recently with in the past nine months I have been going to church, and strengthening my relationship with God. Prior to this nine month period that I have used to develop my relationship I had never gone to church, so my views were never influenced by anything in the Bible. Now that my views are influenced by the bible my life has changed so much for the better. Things make sense now. Everything I do has a purpose. And then of course I came to the point in the Bible that tore me apart.

"You shall not lie with a male as with a woman. It is an abomination." (NKJ, Leviticus 18:22)

The reason this tears me apart is because I have been told my whole life that those who are gay are perfectly okay, and nothing else.

I talked to other christians about it, and tried to see if it was a miss understanding, but if you look it is pretty clear, no miss understandings.

Usually when I read something in the Bible that goes against my old ways I have no problem. I read it, I understand it, I follow it because I understand that my life is way better now because I do so. However, when I read this part of the Bible I did not feel that way at all. I felt completely torn. How was I to tell someone they are wrong? How am I supposed to look at someone in tears for how they have been treated and tell them that they are wrong? 

I fell to my knees in prayer time and time again.

Then finally one day God threw it in my face. I talk about it all the time. I did a sermon on it at my church. I post things about it all the time, and yet I was so blind I did not see it.

It is not OUR place to judge. It is only GOD's place to judge.

God never meant for us to go around and tell people whether or not what they are doing is right. What he did mean for us however, is to lead the people to the doors of his kingdom. Bring people into the church. Bring people to him, God. And then let God himself talk to them and tell them about their wrong doings. Our only job is to get them to the alter. Not judge them so they never get there.

When we tell someone they are trash, it is like telling God he is trash. We have to remember that they are still part of God's creation, and God does not make trash.

Would you follow someone in to their house if they first insulted you? Say you were homeless, and someone on the streets confronted you. They told you how stupid you were because you never got an education to get yourself out of where you are. They told you how lazy you were because you do not have a job. They told you how revolting you were because of your smell and your looks. Then they asked you to follow them to their house. Would you follow them? Would you trust them?

So then why do we expect to be able to help those that we think are sin ridden, if all we do is criticize them for their sins? We become so angry and frustrated that they are not coming to the doors of the church, but we do not realize that what we are doing is driving them away. We do not realize that every time we insult them we are just creating an army and a barrier against us. Each insult is a fuel to their sinful fire. The more we insult them the more they do not want to come back. Everyone knows that God is within themselves. Everyone can feel it. Some do not understand it, so they never follow it. Some fight it because they are afraid. Some understand it, and love it, so they follow it. Some turn against it because those who follow it turn against them. When they realize that something that was supposed to be good is no longer good they grow angry and scared, and that is why they do not follow us. We say that we are just trying to lead them to good, and yet we are just elongating the path to Him.

"The same God who said, "Don't commit adultery," also said, "Don't murder." If you don't commit adultery but go ahead and murder, do you think your non-adultery will cancel out your murder? No, you're a murderer, period."James 2:10 in the Message

All sins are the same according to God. Shoplifting is the same as gay marriage. Adultery and sex before marriage is the same as homosexuality. It is all the same in God's eyes. So why do we single them out?

I am just saying we should not focus on what they are doing wrong because that is not what we are here to do. God does not want us here so that we tear each other apart with accusations. He put us here so that we could show others his love. That is all we should do, lead them to the alter, and let God take it from there. 

There May be Pain in the Night But Joy Comes in the Morning

Lately, I feel like I can not do anything right. Once I have accomplished something I turn around with another failure. One step forward and two steps back seems like my new motto. Every night I go to bed hoping that I'll sleep it off, and yet each morning when I wake up it seems like double the weight has been put on my heart.

So I've decided to try something new every night. Instead of just hoping that the weight will be lifted in the morning I have a different technique, and I am hoping you all will try it along with me. 

Every night before you go to sleep grab your bible, if you do not have one it is okay, it is not completely necessary all though if you can find one that would be great. Do your nightly routine and get yourself to bed, but this time bring your bible with you. Lay down in bed and open the bible to a random spot. Bow your head and begin to pray, or even just talk to God. Talk to him about all your problems. Talk to him about all of your frustrations. Talk to him about the weight you carry on your heart. Give it all to him. Then once you feel you have given it all to God, and only then, look down at your bible. Read the first verse you see and go from there. Read as much as you can handle. The first night it may only be a verse, but the father you get, who knows maybe you will have read through an entire book. Before you read though pray to God that it will speak to your heart. This is not 100% fireproof, some nights the words will not have anything to do with your problems, and some nights it will have everything to do with your problems. If it does that's awesome! If not, do not worry, that is not the only meaning to all of this. The meaning to all of this is that when you read allow yourself to keep your mind off of your problems so that you can allow your brain to marinate itself in the bible, completely surrounding it with the word. Once you grow tired shut the bible and lay it either next to or under your pillow, and rest. 

In the morning you will wake up, and you will no longer feel that weight holding you down, but joy. For there may be pain in the night, but joy comes in the morning. 

Pizza Delivery Tip of the Day

When deciding late at night whether you should sleep or stay awake so you can do what you want (read a book, watch a movie, play a video game) go to sleep and instead wake up early. I know for some of you this sounds foreign and unlikely. Especially if you are like my good friend who would rather stay up till six in the morning watching movies than wake up at six in the morning. However, trust me when you do this you will feel so much more fulfilled. I can not explain it, but it is true. There is something about letting your eyes rest when they need to, and waking up fresh in the morning. 

Youth For Christ Rally

The youth for Christ Rally is tonight and I am so pumped! Unfortunately due to my job at school I am going to be late. I am pretty sure this means that I will miss the drama which is really disappointing. I know how moved the Portside Drama Team is going to leave those kids, and I really wish I could be there to see it. I was once one of those kids sitting in the audience searching for an answer, and they threw the answer in my face when they performed HIStory at Teen Talent. I will never forget that experience. If I could I would do anything to go back to that day. If in heaven God ever gives us moments where we can re-experience an experience in our lives that, and my talk on the steps of Lee are both at the top of the list. The best part about it all is that Portside does not even understand what they are doing when they are up there. At teen talent when they performed I am pretty sure that they had their eyes on the prize. Little did they know they might have gotten the prize they had their eyes on, but they gave me a far better prize. The passion and commitment to a God far better than the rest. I truly believe that tonight they will win the heart of someone, even if it is just one tonight will be a glorious night for the Lord, and I am certain he will be smiling down upon them. Good Luck guys!

Pizza Delivery Tip of the Day
If you are looking for something to change your life or just entertain you go to Facebook or YouTube and type in Portside or Lighthouse Drama team. You can also find them on Vimeo. You especially want to see GOD Drama and HIStory.

Pizza Delivery Tips

So you know that old time joke where a pizza delivery guy asks for a tip and the person responds, "Here's a tip, wear some deodorant smelly." ? Well I've decided that I'm going to try and give you guys tips for reading my blog. A little thing to add to my everyday blogging. So since I would love to tip you all with money, but I am currently penny-less, I will tip you with these tips.

Pizza Tip of the Day
Just because you or any of your friends don't smoke pot doesn't mean you won't be questioned when you are pulled over. Always make sure your car smells fresh and clean so the officer doesn't mistake your dirty laundry smell with marijuana.

How to Treat Others

"The simple moral fact is that words kill." Matthew 5:21-22 in the Message

If you ask me I would say forget the saying "Sticks and stones may brake my bones, but words can never hurt me." It is great in terms of trying to convince yourself that negative things that other people say can not hurt you. However, the truth is it does. On top of that those intending to hurt others with words can say it is okay because they never threw a stick or stone. 

As a christian in God's eyes any sin is a sin, one no higher than the other. When you insult one of His children you should just go right to God, because when you insult his children you insult Him. God does not make trash. Therefore He becomes hurt when you tell one of his creations that they are trash. 

"Carelessly call a brother an 'idiot!' and you just might find yourself hauled into court." Matthew 5:22 [The Message]

Now say you have all ready passed the insult. Say you have all ready hurt someone with your words or even your fists, what should you do? Cower and hope they forget? No. Think back to the last person who hurt you, did you forget it? Or did you remember, and you still carry it around? Most likely you still remember it. 

In the Bible it states that those who seek forgiveness must be forgiving themselves. 

Ephesians 4:32

Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

Matthew 5:23-24

Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother and sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift. 

So if you have all ready hurt someone, before you ask for God's forgiveness, ask for their forgiveness. Go make things right. Apologize, and mean it. 

If you are on the other end and someone who has hurt you asks for forgiveness, forgive them, do not hold a grudge. If you want to be forgiven you must forgive first. Forgive others as God and Jesus both forgave you. I could go on and on about verses and messages from the bible on forgiveness forever. Most of all, though trust me that forgiving someone is far better than hating them. Hate just festers and carries dark thoughts. Where as forgiveness lifts the darkness of the past. Now, what happens if this person has done this to you before. How many times do you forgive them before you stop? One? Two? Three? There is no limit. Never stop forgiving them no matter how many times it happens. 

Matthew 18:21-22

Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?"

Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times."

You never stop forgiving as long as they ask for forgiveness. You would want the same back. So why not expect of yourself what you would expect of them?

Matthew 7:1-2 and 5

"Don't pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults--  unless, of course, you want the same treatment. That critical spirit has a way of boomeranging." Wipe that ugly sneer off your own face, and you might be fit to offer a washcloth to your neighbor. [The Message]

It is pretty simple, treat others the way you want to be treated. Though you may think with all these lessons we get as christians that teach us what not to do in order to be a good christian, part of our job is to point out when other christians do one of these "what not to do" things. This is not the case, however. There is only one who can do that, and judge whether or not what someone is doing is right, and that is God. I say we stop focusing on pointing out the flaws of others and focus more on bringing them to God. Once we have brought them to God, He can then take over and tell them whether or not what they are doing is wrong. Only if they ask is when we tell. If they ask if what they are doing is wrong and you can, with biblical evidence, answer them, then I believe that is okay, other wise, if you ask me that is not our job. You would not want someone else pointing out your flaws, so why do you point out the flaws of others? If someone tried to attract you to a sport by telling you how un fit and un skilled you were, would you join? So why do we try to capture the hearts of others with hating words?

The Hair Theory

Humans, we are a strange being. Put a group together and they are beautiful. Take a single person out, and with the exception of a few they are believed to be not as beautiful the group. As a culture we have heard this before with the "cheerleader theory" being talked about on "How I Met Your Mother" and "Hall Pass". I am not in any way saying this is true, I am just saying that as human kind this is what we perceive now according to our media. It is almost like hair. Look at the hair on someone's head and it is beautiful and attractive. Take one hair out and put it remotely near your food and it's disgusting. It doesn't make sense. That single strand of hair is a part of the beautiful head of hair. Pick it up. Take a look at it. It is strong, it is colorful, it is amazing, it is beautiful. It is one of a kind, unique. Now I am not saying you have to pick up every hair you see. I am just saying look at every person the way you would look at that strand of hair. They are beautiful. They are strong. They are colorful. They are amazing. Pull someone away from the group and they are still just as, if not even more, beautiful than they were in the group.

Finding Yourself

Matthew 10:39
"He who finds his life will lose it, and he who loses his life for My sake will find it."
If all you do is look after yourself you'll never truly find yourself, for you are who you are in the eyes of others. But if you forget about yourself and look to God you'll not only find who you are, but who he is.

Actions Speak Louder than Words

Matthew 21:29-31
"'I will not,' he answered, but later he changed his mind and went. "Then the father went to the other son and said the same thing. He answered, 'I will sir,' but he did not go. "Which of the two did what his father wanted?"



"Well done is better than well said." -Benjamin Franklin

Is it Better to Wait Around than to go Right to God?

Matthew 20:13-16 “But he answered one of them, ‘I am not being unfair to you, friend. Didn’t you agree to work for a denarius? Take your pay and go. I want to give the one who was hired last the same as I gave you. Don’t I have the right to do what I want with my own money? Or are you envious because I am generous?’ “So the last will be first, and the first will be last.”  

When I first read this I grew angry. I thought that it meant those who come to God first will receive less than those who come to God last. I thought, "Does this mean it's better to wait around than go right to God?" Is it better to wait to find God later in life? Then I realized that's not what it's saying at all. It's saying that whether you come in old age or young, all who come will receive God's gifts and eternal life. It's never too late to come.  

And to those who followed God from a young age, don't grow frustrated because someone who has just come to God receives not less, but just as much as, you. Instead, rejoice for yet another soul has found their savior, and another soul can join you in heaven.

For He

For he showed me a better way

For he keeps giving me better days

For he always shows me how to start

For he keeps burning the fire in my heart

For when I’m sad he echoes

The voices of those I love

I’m so glad someone showed me

My great Lord above

For I know that I am saved

For he makes me brave

For his spirit’s found all around

For he can reach to us on the ground

For when I’m sad he echoes

The voices of those I love

I’m so glad someone showed me

My great Lord above

For he brings me to those who need help

For he gave me the strength to seek help

For he gives me the words to calm hearts

For he lives inside my own heart

For when I’m sad he echoes

The voices of those I love

I’m so glad someone showed me

My great Lord above

And I know that when I need him

I don’t have to walk so far

And I know that when I need him

He’s always where we are

For he always there for me

For he never ever leaves

For he always walks be side me

For he carries me when I need

For when I’m sad he echoes

The voices of those I love

I’m so glad someone showed me

My great Lord above

I Need Another Peice

I just do not understand. I feel this incredible pull towards making movies and I know that is really what I want to do, but for some reason I just can not shake the feeling that God wants more from me. I do not know what to do with it.
I can not help but walk the halls of Towson seeing all the laughter and smiling faces and think, I do not belong here. All those smiling faces and I am not one of them. At the beginning of the year I was excited that this is where my parents went. Now I just realize that Towson's place in my life is just to help realize the past of my parents. Not to come to my own future. I don't know where I shoud be. All I know is I should not be here.
All I do while I am here is grasp at my metal link that reminds me of my family back home. It reminds me of my church. That is all I think about at school, getting home to them.
I just want anyone who is close to me reading this to know that I am not saddened by any of this. I am just confused.
Lord please give me another piece to the puzzle called my life. I understand that you only reveal things to us in pieces, but if you could hurry the next piece up that would be amazing.

My Beautiful Campus

This last one is dedicated to my heart stone friend, Becky! That's a leaf though. 

What to Do? What to Do?

So my to do list for today....
1. ?
2. ?
3. ?

Now you see. I actually have a lot of things to do today, but I do not even know where to start. Lately, that is how I have been. When I hang out with friends I can not really engage with them the way that I want because all I am thinking of is all the work I have to do. However, when I think about how to go about starting all the work I have to do I can not figure out anything. I can not think of what to write my essays about. I can not think of who to write about. I can't even think of what to eat. I am beginning to wander if I can handle all of this. It does not really matter what I decide though. If I decided that I could not handle it there is nothing I could do about it. I have to go to school. That is what society says, that what my parents say, that is what everyone says. I try not to worry about it so much, but it is hard not to. So, let us think.... my to do list....
1. Paper for English
2. Essays and questions for EMF
3. Still shot analysis for EMF
4. Planning dinners
5. Basement
        1. cleaning it
        2.  Getting paint for it
        3. Painting it
        4. Rearranging it
6. Write!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
7. So much more that I can't even think of right now.

So I guess I should get to doing those things and I will leave you guys with this....
"The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office." -Robert Frost

A Gift From the Unexpected

I go in for my second day on the job of my lab aide at school today. I have to go in early though because there is some Math Lab I have to go to for my Math class. I am really not excited. It is okay though because later today I have "Friends" night with my friends where we all get together and watch "Friends". I am so tired though. I have learned that about being in college so far. That I never really sleep. Whether it is because I am staying up doing work for college, or just staying up worrying about college. Hopefully I will have something good happen at work that I can tell you all about. We will see.

However, yesterday in math class I had something pretty awesome happen. I had not eaten all day and it was approaching seven o'clock at night. A student in my class had brought a full on meal to class and was eating. I mean a full on meal, with shrimp and everything. It smelled delicious. The whole time I was just trying not to focus on it because I was so hungry. I then began to worry about how I was going to eat that night. I was going straight from school to a church event so I was not going to be home in time for dinner at my house. I also did not have any money, so I could not get food on the way home. Then she opened a packet of pop tarts. She was full at this point and only wanted one. So she asked the best question I have ever heard in my life, "Do you want the other pop tart?" I tried to hide my excitement as I answered yes. It seems like nothing, but it was just what I needed to get by. It was one of those times where I just knew God was in the workings. He knew that I need food, and he supplied not too much, and not too little, but just the right amount that I needed to get by.

Catching Up With Me

So since this is my first post I guess I should catch you up on my life. Well, I recently in the past couple months have discovered Church, religion, and most importantly the Lord. As a child I was always envious of those who were raised in church because at least they didn’t have to decide whether or not to join church, or believe. I recently discovered that that is not true, and that in fact even those who were raised in church suffer from the same inner arguments. However, I did come to realization that it is better to come into church as a personal decision then to be forced in. This is because at least you know that it was you who decided to follow the Lord, and not anyone else. This does not mean that I will not raise my future children in church, because I will, this just means to all those out there that think everyone who was raised in church has a one up, be happy for you may in fact have a one up on them.

Also, I have recently joined Towson University. I love it, but it’s not the same as high school and I miss it dearly. To all of those who are still in high school I have a few things to say. One, live your life to the fullest right now. Conquer your high school, and do not back down. Do not become so obsessed in your want to graduate and move on with life that you forget to take advantage of where you are now. You can move on, now! Two, do not be afraid of college. Respect it, but do not fear it. It is nothing to fear. It it great. Three, if you ever dream of something and someone tells you that it is just a dream and can never happen, do not believe them. If at first you do not succeed, try, try again. And again. And again. Do not think that your age stops you. One of my good friend’s favorite verse is, “Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.” You can do anything you set your mind to. Believe it. Speak it. And do not let anyone convince you other wise. 

One of my difficulties that I face right now as far as college is I do not know how to balance my work, school, and church. See the thing is right now I have four classes at Towson. They are awesome, but like any course comes a lot of work. Also, comes a lot of need for money to pay, to learn. Right now I have a volunteer job at my church that I love. It is very important to me because it is right where everything is for me. The Lord, the people I love, my friends. The only thing missing is my family. Also, the job actually teaches me about equipment that I plan to use in my workforce. Everything about the job is great, except that it does not pay. So I took up a job as a lab aide at my school in the EMF program because my dad said it was a great opportunity, and I needed money. However, I recently found out that it too does not pay. It does however give me three extra credits, and is now considered a class, so I do not want to quit. However, I still need a way to get money, but with the two volunteer jobs and school I can not find room for a new job. Some may say that I can drop the job at the church, but I do not want to. And I know that some may say some things in life are not the way we want them to be, but why can't it be? As long as what we want is moral and right, why can’t we go after it? So, some may say, drop the lab aide. However the aide is in my department of major, and I do not want my future professors, or employers to look down on me because I quit. I am at a stand still. All I can think of is to just not continue the lab aide when the next semester starts. However, I need a way to make money, now. So for now I just pray that an easy going job like yard work, or cleaning, or just something comes upon my table, and until that day I do not know what to do.
I also have come to a stand still on all of my writing. I have many films and books that I am currently working with, but I do not know what to write any more. The one film that I have mostly completed, I can not find actors. I am at a very frustrating creative block. So for now that is all I can think of. 

Getting Started

So I don’t even know how to define myself to all of you. I guess I’m a writer, a creator, a film maker. A dreamer, definitely a dreamer. Someone who believes in almost everyone and their potential. A friend. I hope I’m a good friend. An admirer of the show “Friends”, I absolutely love it. I movie goer. A college student. A North Carroll Alumni. A Panther. Always a Panther. Never, not a Panther. Second place, in Varsity Softball States. A christian. A person. 

Why am I here? Well, I’d be lying to you if I said that no one inspired me. Everyone inspires me. My good, childhood friend, Becky inspired me to start writing here. I love writing and always will. Lately it just seems that everything is pointing to writing a blog. I mean all my friends rant on and on about how great Becky’s blog is. My Concept and Story class at Towson encourages me to keep a journal. Everything just seems to say, “Express yourself, in blog form.” So I went to finally check out Becky’s blog, and not even minutes into it I joined blogspot. I must admit, I still haven’t read some of Becky’s writings, only because I guess I’m nervous to see what they’re about, but rest assured, I will. 

So a few of my interests. Well, writing, film making, movie watching, Friends (the show, as well as actual friends), How I Met Your Mother, One Tree Hill, Softball, Dirt Bike Riding, Stand By Me, The Pursuit of Happyness, the Ravens, Lean on Me, guitar, piano, drums, music (playing and listening), CHURCH, speaking… I have so many more.

And as an ending note, I’m excited to get to talk to you guys, and I will try as hard as possible to continue writing.